7/12/21
- Growing up in many houses-
- Holidays being a staple point of excitement and happiness
- With holidays comes food, family and coming together
- Much of the happiest times were spending time with my aunt and uncle and their families
- Thanksgiving, Christmas, Friday night dinners
- You always knew what you could count on for staples, green jello salad with turkey…
- Grammie Lane coming upstairs with blonde Brownies
- Everyone making extra special desserts
- Friday night American Chop Suey, some might be sick of it but for me it is an intense family memory
- Summers at the lake, Hot dogs over an open fire
- Strawberry shortcake
- Lobster for mine and Esther birthday
- Always loved to learn to cook
- My aunt taught me so much and then I would just look up recipes and try things.
- I was never afraid to try to cook something new
- Growing up overweight my whole life
- The one thing i felt like i could do with confidence was to cook
- I always had a need and want to please people
- Cooking for people was one way i could feel needed, wanted and like i was good at something
- Cooking my whole life in one way or another
- I always came back to cooking no matter what job i had,
- Even jobs without cooking involved i would find ways to cook because ei was good at it
- Deciding i needed to change my life or die
- All my life i tried diets, limiting what i could eat, salads every day ect
- Nothing ever worked long term
- I finally decided to try gastric bypass with my dr help
- I applied to the program
- Underwent many appts, trainings, evaluations ect
- I saw this guy on facebook, doing a pushup challenge
- He seemed to kind and genuine, tho i have a very hard time trusting people
- He offered up a contest for someone to win a 12 week transformation in his gym
- I wanted to apply but I hated the idea of taking pictures and videos. I was over 500 pounds.
- Finally i applied
- I continued to watch his pushup challenge every night while waiting to hear the contest results
- Finally the results came
- It was a facebook like
- The winner was announced and i didnt win
- I felt like I had lost a chance at something great and to be honest. I felt defeated
- And then he said hold on…. They chose 2 more winners and i was one of them.
- I had my call with Coach Hunter and i felt amazing for the first time in a very long time
- A few weeks later on june 18 2020 i started personal training with Coach Brandon
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- At the same time i was preparing for bypass surgery
- 2 times a week i went to Brandon and felt better and better all the time, not so much from the workout but from the support
- Hunter and Brandon were the real deal
- July 1st 2020 i had surgery
- Two days later i was back at the gym with brandon, we just went for a walk but i showed up
- I knew that long term i wouldn’t be able to do this if i was going to just limit what i could or couldn’t eat
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- Transforming how i cooked
- I stared reinventing recipes of the things i loved so that they were healthier and would be good for me
- Unfortunately I physically could not and still can not eat much of this food.
- I realized i might be able still find great happiness by doing this for others that could enjoy this food and maybe not have to give uip things thaty they loved in order to achieve weight loss with failures
- I was able to meet my love of cooking, my love of helping others and feeling wanted without actually having to eat the foods
- Over the next year i lost 255 pounds, gained wonderful friends and a support system that can not be beat
- I started a business with the best friend a guy could have
- Started teaching food safety again
- Starting teaching my love of cooking and reinventing recipes to new people
- With Surgery comes mental and physical changes
- Tho i was getting smaller and feeling better something was wrong
- I had been warned that when u can no longer emotionally eat your mind will try to find ways to meet that emotional crutch need, often time people who have had bypass surgery turn to drugs or alcohol
- I never did either of those things
- THe emotional rollercoaster
- I stared to desperately need the attention of people to make me happy
- I got hel[p from my dr with some anxiety medication which was a huge issue for me as someone who hates medication
- I found myself being very needy to the point that one of the few people i trusted and sought the approval of the most, began to feel i was laying this burden on him
- I didn’t see it happening at first but soon realized what was going on
- I was torn emotionally, i wanted to run and hide but also to be acknowledged and cared about
- I had so many emotions that had always been able to be met with food but now they couldn’t be
- I had to try to learn to change this
- Luckily I had something who, though I was overwhelming them and causing them grief a lot of the time, refused to just tell me to go away.
- Things are getting better tho every day is a struggle
- When you have been dependent on a crutch your whole life and it’s taken away from you. You can’t just walk, you have to learn to crawl and slowly pull yourself up until you’re walking again. And trust, that person will be there to give you the hand you need when you finally stand up.
- Cooking to help others now fills many needs,
- The need to help others
- The joy to cook
- Watching other enjoying and appreciating what your doing
- There you go, tho i still struggle daily, i am standing up now
- Even tho i can’t eat it , i can make food and show others how to make delicious for that they can enjoy
- I am growing as a person every day.
- Thursday i will turn 51 years old and i am weigh less that i did when i graduated high school
- Life is good, i have good people in my life and a great support system