I want to share my personal journey of overcoming obesity and the profound anxiety that often accompanies it. But I also want to talk about something equally important: the role friends and loved ones can play in supporting someone on this journey, and the importance of understanding that these fears are real and may take time to overcome.
For the longest time, I carried the weight of more than 575 pounds, both physically and emotionally. The fear of being the center of attention, of people staring and judging me, was an ever-present anxiety. To cope, I made it a rule never to be late for events. I needed to be early, present, and seated before others arrived. Walking in after an event had started was simply unbearable; I’d rather leave than face those stares.
But this anxiety wasn’t confined to special events; it bled into everyday situations as well. The fear of being late for a meeting or rushing through an airport to catch a flight became, and still is, a daunting challenge for me. The simple act of being the last person to be seated on a plane or bus, with the eyes of strangers fixed on me as I squeezed through narrow aisles, was terrifying.
The anxiety I felt when it came to being around people I didn’t know can often be paralyzing.. It was as if I had a spotlight on me, and every move I made was scrutinized. The fear of being seen, judged, or talked about was overwhelming. I often declined invitations to social events or would show up and quickly leave because this anxiety of being the center of attention was paralyzing. It felt like all eyes were on me, dissecting every aspect of my appearance and behavior. This fear extended beyond just friends and family; it affected my interactions with strangers too. It’s a fear that many individuals struggling with obesity can relate to, and it’s crucial for friends and loved ones to understand the depth of this anxiety.”
Losing weight was more than a physical transformation; it was a mental and emotional one. The anxieties I’d developed over a lifetime of being overweight were deeply ingrained and didn’t disappear overnight. It took years for my mind to catch up with the changes in my body. I had to learn patience and confront the traumas I’d carried with me for so long.
One of the most significant challenges I faced was the lack of understanding from friends and loved ones. They couldn’t always grasp the crippling anxiety I felt about being late or the fear of judgment. It’s essential to recognize that these fears are real and may persist, even as someone works toward weight loss and a healthier life.
If you have a friend or family member on a similar journey, here’s how you can support them:
- Empathize: Try to understand the anxiety and fear they’re experiencing. Recognize that these emotions are real and may take time to overcome.
- Be Patient: Weight loss is a process that involves physical, mental, and emotional changes. Be patient with your loved one as they navigate this journey.
- Avoid Pressure: Don’t force them into situations that trigger their anxieties. Respect their boundaries and pace.
- Offer Encouragement: Offer words of encouragement and support. Let them know you’re proud of their progress, no matter how small it may seem.
- Seek Professional Help: If their anxieties seem overwhelming, encourage them to seek professional help from therapists or support groups specializing in weight-related issues.
Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, I still struggle on a daily basis with these fears that can still lead to horrific anxiety. It is essential to provide a supportive, understanding environment for your loved one. Some of my friends, actually most of them do not understand this as they dont have the same point of reference that I do. But they are always willing to try. Together, with support from friends and with your own willingness to overcome, there is hope, maybe not today or tomorrow, but one step at a time. Remember, you could be the one to help someone overcome their anxieties and achieve their goals.