Today, I want to share a message I received on TikTok. It was in response to a short recipe video I posted, where my face was visible for less than 30 seconds. The comment read, “I hope you have a better day; you always look either sad or mad in every one of your videos.”
In response to this comment, I’d like to shed some light on my situation. If you took a moment to explore my social media presence, you’d discover that I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety about appearing on camera. For the better part of my life, I shied away from pictures, social gatherings, and anything that put me in front of strangers. I weighed nearly 600 pounds and didn’t want anyone to see me, look at me, judge me, or make fun of me.
I’ve gone through a remarkable transformation, losing over 350 pounds and entirely changing my life. Every step I take is fueled by a desire to help others who’ve faced situations like mine. However, it’s disheartening to receive comments like the one I just mentioned. It leaves me wondering why someone would choose to make a hurtful remark.
But Tina, if you genuinely want to know why I don’t often smile in my videos, it’s because I’m self-conscious about my appearance. Excess skin from my weight loss has caused my left eye to squint when I smile. It triggers anxiety about being laughed at, judged, and ridiculed. My entire life, I’ve been the butt of others’ jokes, and now all I want is to support and uplift others.
You didn’t send me a message to ask if I’m okay, but instead, you chose to post a comment. On the other hand, I took the time to look at your posts. I discovered you were a hula dancer for 15 years, and most of your content involves reposting others’ posts. You have many inspirational messages, yet you still chose to send hurtful comments. Your posts focus on improving appearances, but very few feature your own face or you speaking on camera.
The point is, you do you, and whatever makes you happy is okay. I’m not angry, but I am disappointed that someone would make a comment without understanding the potential harm they could cause.
I’ll be fine, and I’ll continue making videos. That comment did make me self-conscious, but I’ve faced far worse in life, and I’m sure I’ll encounter more challenges. At the end of the day, my goal, my mission, my deepest desire is to help people overcome their obstacles and provide them with tools to make their own choices and feel empowered. If I can achieve that even to a small extent, then I’ll be a better person for it.
So, Tiina, in the future, let’s all strive to be a little more compassionate and understanding of each other’s journeys.
Is this conversation helpful so far?